The state of me

I got a rather random and unexpected call from my doctor (well, not mine really. Just the doctor that headed up the study I took place in so I could get treatment without insurance, but, still.) asking me how I was and if I had given some thought to trying different meds. I told him I was still debating it, but really, the answer is going to be "Hell, no!" until I find myself thinking I should stick my head in the oven.

Considering my history, I probably will be depressed again, but... I just can't convince myself that being on mind-altering drugs (of the kind that don't make you see pretty colors, that is) constantly is the right thing to do "just in case".

Self-medication and keeping myself busy have always worked just fine. I think anti-depressants will never be anything other than a last-stop measure for me. Which is cool, since drinking on those things was a freaking disaster waiting to happen. And goddess knows I don't intend to stop doing that!

Speaking of which, I just got myself a cocktail shaker, and some martini glasses, and a bottle of Stoli, and some Vermouth, and some lovely premium olives...

I've decided to marry my cocktail shaker. My pretty martini glasses will be our adopted kiddies, and the perfect blend of vodka and vermouth will speak to the world of our love.

Happiness is an ice-cold extra-extra-dry martini with three olives in my glass.

How can Zoloft beat *that*? ::grin::

Lyrics meme

I've been meaning to do this:

Everyone probably knows this one by now, but, just in case: Below are the first lines of the first twenty songs that came up when I put my player on random. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to identify the songs. Cool? Here we go:

01 "This bed is afire with passionate love" James - Laid _jules_
02 "I start it, I end it / I kill and words will defend it"
03 "When I was a young girl I used to see pleasure" Nina Simone - When I Was a Young Girl _jules_
04 "There's a moon over Bourbon Street tonight"
05 "Whatever"
06 "All my people in the crowd" Britney Spears - Me Against the Music _jules_
07 "Down in the park where the marksmen meet" Foo Fighters - Down In the Park (Gary Numan cover) strippedhalo
08 "I made it through the wilderness" Madonna - Like A Virgin _jules_
09 "This is my stuff / Got to get off"
10 "Under a blackened sky" Sarah McLachlan - Wait jennytsk
11 "Into you so far our words go / so much clearer then you hear"
12 "I'm good for inspiration, aren't I?"
13 "Last nite / she said" The Strokes - Last Nite _jules_
14 "The hour is out of joint / Black sun has risen"
15 "Been given 24 hours / To tie up loose ends"
16 "There's a little black spot on the sun today" The Police - King of Pain strippedhalo
17 "Come down to my house"
18 "With your feet in the air and your head on the ground" The Pixies - Where Is My Mind? _jules_
19 "Dear God / Broken life / Come on / Laugh this time"
20 "Tried to save myself but myself keeps slipping away" Nine Inch Nails - Slipping Away (or Into the Void, either one is good, according to our research. LOL pir

Okey doke... some of these first lines are the actual title of the song so that should make it easier. *g*

That took so much longer than it should have to type up... but I just had to listen to all the songs!

ETA: Bolded songs have been correctly id'ed.