my self keeps slipping

New job could be the suckiest job on earth (which, thankfully, so far, it isn't) and I'd still be singing its praises. Just finished doing a bit of math, and it turns out that I can keep a roof over my head, pay my bills, drink some alcohol, smoke some cigarettes, and eat!

Oh, yeah, baby! I'm in the green.

Training is still driving me freaking crazy with the slowness, but it did help me figure out why they offered me two jobs about five minutes after I walked out of the interviews. With my background in call centers and insurance companies, I must have looked damn good. The rest of my training class is all: "Claims, what're those all about?", while I'm pointing out how the basic stuff we've been doing so far is going to affect payments and adjustments.

Looks like the job is going to work out okay, which is absolutely amazing to me after the year chained to the bridal desk o' doom. *g*

On the fannish front, I'm still obsessed with Supernatural. No new ep this coming week, which is just killing me. Thankfully, there's plenty of fic to keep me occupied.

Also, now playing Sims 2 which is ridiculously addictive. Mostly the part where I get to build and decorate dream houses. Although making my Sim hook up with two sisters and watching the ensuing drama has been pretty fun as well. *eg*

I'm nursing my forth cup of Smoky Russian and staring out my window.

It's one of those perfect fall days in New England, all gray skies and light mist, and I wish I had an LP player and some Charlie Parker on vinyl. A tumbler of single-malt scotch older than me would be nice as well. Hmmm.

Maybe I'll go for a walk later on and end up in a bar. The Squealing Pig would be perfect, but it would require some travel. They're probably lighting the fireplace already and the big comfy chair with the burgundy upholstery is pretty much exactly where I want to be right now.

The show was amazing.

Getting to feel the crowd at a live performance is pretty amazing all by itself, and I've often found myself getting swept up into a show when I wasn't a fan, just on the strength of the devotion to the band I could feel from the crowd. Examples: Nine Inch Nails (I grew up in Puerto Rico, had never even heard of the band, saw them about a month after I moved to the States and haven't stopped listening since), Linkin Park (they have a great vibe live), and Queens of the Stone Age (I like three of their songs offstage; live, I love it all).

Delerium has always been a strange animal for me. I love their CDs but mostly on the strength of their collaborations (Silence featuring Sarah MacLachan, Fallen Icon featuring Jenifer Mclaren, and Flowers Become Screens featuring Kristy Thirsk, being the most prominent) so I didn't quite know what to expect from a live show by the band without any of the high-profile guests.

They were incredibly good. The band was tight, the singers were good enough to put out a reasonable rendition of Silence, and the bass player, whose name it is now my quest to discover, had enough stage presence to carry the rest of the group.

This all adds up to: They sounded great, I heard some of my favorite songs, and I danced my ass OFF!@!

All in all, a great Sunday night.

Just managed to track down one of my favorite poems. I first read this when I was in fifth grade and it really struck a chord. Mostly because I've always been a bit of a loner and around that time my friends were all becoming increasingly social (and casting about for boyfriends.)

I knew it was by Adrienne Rich but I could not remember the title at all, so I'm really happy to have found it. Putting it here for safe-keeping.


Song
By: Adrienne Rich


You're wondering if I'm lonely:
OK then, yes, I'm lonely
as a plane rides lonely and level
on its radio beam, aiming
across the Rockies
for the blue-strung aisles
of an airfield on the ocean.

You want to ask, am I lonely?
Well, of course, lonely
as a woman driving across country
day after day, leaving behind
mile after mile
little towns she might have stopped
and lived and died in, lonely

If I'm lonely
it must be the loneliness
of waking first, of breathing
dawns' first cold breath on the city
of being the one awake
in a house wrapped in sleep

If I'm lonely
it's with the rowboat ice-fast on the shore
in the last red light of the year
that knows what it is, that knows it's neither
ice nor mud nor winter light
but wood, with a gift for burning

Ok, I'm currently sitting at my computer with my phone to my ear, bouncing up and down in my chair, as my friend Mike, who works at Axis, lets me listen to CMAR.

It is soooo sad that hearing this through a scratchy cell can make me this happy.

I'll probably squeal and do all kinds of "things umbecoming a (former, lapsed?) goth" if I manage to get tickets to the Avalon show on the 29th.

Best part so far: "all the things people told me keep f***ing with my head." Dude. Why is it so hot when SDBs swear?